Homosexuality in Ireland – Finally a part of the norm?

Features, Features — By on December 22, 2011 7:50 pm

Viviane Stroede

Staff writer

Ask yourself what sexuality would you consider someone to be after just meeting them? Would you consider them to be bisexual, gay, lesbian or heterosexual? Unfortunately most people naturally assume everyone to be heterosexual unless someone tells them otherwise. In 1993 homosexuality was decriminalised and the law for civil partnership of same-sex couples was changed in January 2011, but is that enough?

Dil Wickremasinghe, who is working as an Irish broadcaster, journalist and social entrepreneur, shared her experiences on how it is to be homosexual in Ireland:

“I encounter discrimination every day. I am in a committed relationship and we feel we are being discriminated against because we don’t have the same rights as a co-habiting heterosexual couple. We can’t marry and have children as the laws in Ireland do not include these for same-sex couples.“

Reports on civil partnership by Anne Colley, the chairperson of the Working Group for Domestic Partnership show that the lack of legal recognition impacts on the status and standing of lesbian and gay couples, as it is contributing to a conception that same- sex couples and their families lack value and are unequal to others. The report also states that it has the direct consequence of same-sex couples not having the same protection and legal obligation that are available to heterosexual couples through marriage.

When talking to L. Dunne, who has encountered difficulties growing up being homosexual, he stated that “ there is undoubtedly more that needs to be done, but considering how staunchly homophobic this country once was, I think we’re taking leaps and bounds and should be celebrating what we have achieved so far without the greed of the ‘more more more!’ mentality“.

Further on when talking about the religious community in Ireland he stated “how dare they attempt to make people feel ashamed of who they are. How dare they practically brainwash people into thinking anything different from what they consider ‘normal’ is wrong. The church should be encouraging people to embrace other cultures, to welcome all walks of life, but instead the vast majority just push an agenda of hate and segregation which is disgusting. However, in saying that, there are countless people I know who are both Catholic and openly gay, and many straight Catholics who fight endlessly for equality“.

Although according to Dil most people have completely accepted homosexuality as just being another part of the diversity of our society, “some still struggle with same-sex couples having children“.

Talking to other people in the gay and lesbian community, they shared stories about them being attacked on the street when walking around with their partners, being called diseased and being afraid of showing their sexuality openly on the street. According to Dil it is visible “especially in rural Ireland. Gay men are more visible and have a more positive image for example being funny and camp, however lesbians and transgender people are still viewed negatively”. This is also shown to some extent in the media. Dil, a journalist herself, added:

“The media has been helpful on this matter. However, again its split as it has promoted gay men in the past in a positive light but lesbians, bisexuals and transgender people are almost an afterthought. How many openly lesbians, bisexuals and transgender presenters and contributors regularly feature on mainstream TV and radio?”

Trina Mulligan, a volunteer for Marriage Equality, stated that although homosexuals in media and television become more and more a part of the daily life, especially in soaps and dramas, she feels “that they do not portray homosexuals accurately at all”.

Ireland is clearly on the way to accept a diversity of sexuality, though still a lot has to be done. Dil mentioned in the interview that she is currently working on a Yellow Flag programme, working together with the Irish Traveller Movement and providing schools with assistance to teach children from a young age about cultures, nationalities and races. She added, “however we need a Rainbow Flag programme to be rolled out nationwide so children from an early age can be aware of the full spectrum of sexuality. Schools must engage in a daily conversation about inclusion and equality both in the classroom and the staffroom“.

Studies by the gay and lesbian equality network show that especially younger people can develop mental health issues, as a result of minority stress linked to fears about getting the acceptance and support by family and friends, difficulties in school or starting dating and getting support from organisations and communities.

A lot of things need to be changed; people need to encounter the topic of homosexuality more openly. Although the state steps towards a more tolerant policy it is still not enough. Why should a same-sex couple not be allowed to actually marry their partner, or why should they not be allowed to have children? From the interview with Dil and others it becomes clear that it is not only the state and its laws but also how people in Ireland see the topic as something not usual. It is not only about acceptance or tolerance but that homosexuality should become part of the norm.

  • Norton Parker

    Homosexuality is OK privately. But the traditional family should be promoted there is a difference between a catholic ordinary family and two men sharing a bed. Live with it liberels most people are traditionally minded.

    • Charly

      Sure there’s a difference, but why should they not have the same rights?

    • Brian

      Norton Parker…how dare you decide to take it open yourself to state what is and what is not OKAY! People in Ireland may be more traditionally minded but by God there is a world out side of this island. The gay and lesbian community are NOT second class citizens and should not be confined to four walls of their house if they wish to show affection publicly. Further more I think we all know the Catholic church would like to keep every Irish citizen in a trance, scared to breath but that will NEVER happen. Divorce are also the norm nowadays in Ireland and that was another NO NO of the Catholic church. Every citizen deserves rights no matter who they are. It is people like yourself who are afraid of the unknown and so decide to cling to ideals that your parents or grandparents ranted and raved about for decades. Turning to the Constitution of the nation which has removed by referendum (CHOICE OF THE IRISH PEOPLE) special positions of the Catholic church and for good reason. Not everyone in this country is Catholic in fact Christianity has evolved in recent years, and you will find even the highest members of the church will not condemn homosexuality as some of it’s narrow-minded, busy-bodied members feel the need to do. In closing you are allowed to be of that opinion..you are even allowed to be uncomfortable with it, but it is not OK to decide to put other members of this nation down in the eyes of others simply because you feel that the traditional family is normal. Times are changing- careful or you may find yourself left behind!

  • Norton Parker

    They already have the same rights charly I think you mean the same recognition. And the reason gays do not have the same recognition as say a traditional family is most people recognise that homosexual behaviour is tolerable when it is a private matter. The article is making the point that this kind of sexuality is becoming more open and mainstream. That is wrong, a traditional family should be promoted and celebrated as the basis of every society. It should not be put on a par with the sexual habits of two men or two women. And remember the same people whom argue that gays and the traditional family are the same are the same people whom promote transgendered sexuality, bisexuality and transvestism. It would not be long if the government allowed gay marriage that some Labour politician would propose a bill attacking the catholic church or stating that it can not run adoption agencies based on the traditional family only priciple this has already happened in the UK. Plus I would just add you have a beautiful name Charly you seem cute. xx

    • Conor Kenny

      “The article is making the point that this kind of sexuality is becoming more open and mainstream. That is wrong, a traditional family should be promoted and celebrated as the basis of every society. ”

      That’s just white noise to everyone else reading this, it means nothing.

      • Conor Kenny

        “there is a difference between a catholic ordinary family and two men sharing a bed.”

        What about a catholic homosexual family?

  • Holly

    also, “Norton Parker”, the Catholic Church has already lost its hold on Ireland. I’m not going to start on an anti religion rant, but the church has done far more damage than good in this country, so please don’t use religion as an excuse to condemn ordinary people who just have different preferences to you.
    Saying that “homosexuality is ok privately” is implying that it is something which should be hidden.
    you obviously still have antiquated views, and hopefully most people will just dismiss your comments and get on with progress.

    • mary

      Couldn’t have said it better myself

  • Stiofán MGC

    Conor, you make a very good point, one that Norton is ignorant of. That is that there is much much more to homosexuality than ‘two men sharing a bed’. Sexuality itself is not based on what you do in the bedroom, it is a description of who you are physically and emotionally attracted to – who you fall in love with. Your view, Norton, is very narrow minded and ‘traditional’, referring to your arrogant description of homosexuality as just the ‘sexual habits of two men or two women’. All other sexualities apart from heterosexuality, suffer the fools of this world who moronically portray LGBT people as one dimensional beings without conscious thought, values or morality. You have endorsed this view Norton Parker, for shame.

  • SM

    While I agree with most of your article, I must point out that I believe you are mistaken when it comes to the Church. As a disclaimer, you should note that I am atheist. Are you aware that being homosexual in the Church is in fact not wrong? The Pope himself has said that sexuality cannot be controlled or decided, but one is born that way. What the Church is opposed to is not the feelings, but acting on them. It states that sex outside of marriage or using artificial birth control is wrong for all couples, heterosexual or otherwise. By this argument, homosexual acts are wrong, just as heterosexual acts purely for pleasure’s sake is wrong, as conception is not the purpose.

    Furthermore, I query whether you have asked many priests about this? I have had the privilege of being on good terms with a significant amount of priests, many of whom tell me privately that it’s only a matter of time before we get more liberal practices such as female priests, and more welcoming for LGBT individuals. I even note that some of have told me that that go to private homes and preside over a blessing ceremony for new homosexual couples!

  • Norton Parker

    Conor Kenny you are like a bad smell that will not go away, the smell of a bathroom in a certain kind of bar for example. As to your question what about a catholic homosexual family? The fact is calling yourself a catholic or catholic family does not make you a catholic or a catholic family. Bill Clinton calls himself a baptist family man. Yet he sexually degraded Monica Lewinsky in the oval office abused her and then called her a lying fantasist. He then setteled a law suit with Pauala Jones for over a million dollars after she alledged he sexually assaulted her in a hotel room. A case of another disgusting leftist sharing his perverstions with the entire world and degarding women including his own wife. As for your silly remark this is just white noise. The tradition family is held up as the standard of life in every major religion on this earth not just the good catholic church. It is also the basis of human nature. A beautiful catholic family in Ireland or a decent man or woman of any religion whom dreams of finding love and raising a family after a traditional marriage is something I applaud. It has not and will not ever be put an a par with gay men involved in there kind of relationships for two reasons. First we are the majority, the muslim world the western Christian world and ordinary people whom happen to not believe are offended by homosexual practices. It is the gays that have to accept this fact, not the reverse we do not have to accept gays in any way other than allow them the same respect any decent person would give any one else if they conduct themselves with discretion and civility. Second the majority of gays know that what they are engaged in is not right. How could any gay man about to have gay sex not know or understand that smearing a part of your body with what is left in toilets is not morally right. Or a lesbian woman how could she not know in the back of her mind that her own body which produces not only babies but milk for babies not secretly understand her own failure as a woman. Hence the amount of self hate in the gay community forty years after sexual revolution and governments and polular culture pushing homosexuality as a acceptable life style choice. Tough critique but is is all true.

  • Norton Parker

    MESSAGE FOR CONOR KENNY, Argos, Sainsbury, dfs, Vauxhall all very big the Sun advertisers. Argos in particular they are owned and operated under the Home retail group PLC company whom make the decisions in regards to advertising there head office address and phone number is 489-499 Avebury Boulevard Saxon Gate West Milton Keynes MK9 2NW phone number 0845 603 667. Go after this trash when running a boycott you need to get the correct details to the right people. So contact head offices only as they have a statutory responsibility to reply to letters they receive when addressed personally to a CEO as all CEOs need to sign declarations in regards to conduct and behavior before becoming CEOs. For example having insurance abiding by the promotion sections of employment and health and safety law. It is also wise to contact politicians that are hostile to Murdoch to get them signed on to the campaign as this adds credibility to the boycott. You also need to let the company know you will be contacting there share holders or large customers if they do not abide by a reasonable deadline if they do not pull their advertising in Murdoch press and have the amount of letters calls and e-mails increase up until the date of the deadline. Go to work and get this in an article.

  • Laura

    Well said Holly. I just want to say this: Homosexuality is not a choice. You do not choose who you fall in love with. You can be curious and kiss/sleep with/think about anyone. Ireland has come far, we are the generation that will being it that one step further: for complete equality. So heres to that.

  • Laura

    “Norton Parker” either your comments are a piss take or you are completely gone in the head.

  • Terry

    Tolerance definitely needs to be promoted in schools. Whether you are pro- or anti- gay, the fact remains that people get HURT, physically and mentally. If tolerance was taught in schools, maybe more people would have the cop on to not injure a homosexual individual. It’s disheartening to think that a person can get attacked for finding a specific gender attractive.

  • Norton Parker

    Laura and Terry, I pity you. Children need to be taught tolerance, tolerance leads to immigration immigration leads to crime and racial violence. Wake up. No immigration no racism.

  • Laura

    Gone in the head it is then. I would have had more respect for you if you were just taking the piss to be honest.

  • Laura

    I’ve also noticed you leave comments at about 3am, get a life…

    • Norton Parker

      I work nights honey, get back to will and grace, x

  • Realism For a Second

    Hold on just one sweet second. There has got to be a forum to discuss this topic without one side being shot down as evil for holding certain views. I am heterosexual. I have friends and relatives who are homosexual and I do not think it’s “icky” a la Nick Griffin. I do believe homosexuals should have equal rights in line with every one elses. That means up until the point at which their rights impinge on others. And i think the welfare of a child is a right that could be infirnged. And that’s not founded on “hate”. I honestly believe that I choice between a family with both a stong father and mother figure is best for raising a child. A recent study which was mentioned in the now notorious Kevin Myers article (loath as I am to quote him) showed huge increases in the levels of delinquency and dropping out amongst teens raised in households without both these influences. There are other studies showing similar trends. Now these studies are rational, reasoned arguments to say that the issue is, at least, up for debate. But if anyone is to attempt to debate them, the whole issue becomes scewed in emotive language of “we’re all humans” and an aim to shut up “prejudiced, evil conservatives”. I am not a conservative, in fact I am fairly liberal. But I believe there are varying opinions on this issue that ought to be considered. I believe that a view that everyone that disagrees with you is prima facie homophobic is an obstacle to meaningful debate. I believe the comments so far on this article show exactly why we will never reach a conclusion on this. It’s the increasingly annoying problem with our new age keyboard pseudo activists: their solution to “hate and ignorance” is simply “love and ignorance”.