Contrary to the above Dave Preston claims to be a Senior Sophister Protestant Studies student, with a minor in Catholic repression. Preston says he is running because while Trinity was once the bastion of Protestantism in Ireland, this has fallen by the wayside. He worries that we are now too much like Maynooth or UCD and says he will bring the protestant back to Trinity. To achieve this GAA will be banned and replaced with rugby, croquet, fowling and cock fighting.
Preston’s main policy is “Yes to fees, pay your way.” He says that we are a rich, strong, protestant university and we don’t need government handouts like the Catholics in UCD. Other policies include longer lectures, harder essays, more exams, less comfortable seats and uglier lecturers.
Among the things Preston plans to abolish when elected (“not if”) are Sociology, “because nobody needs a degree in CSPE,” and Engineering, “because that’s building, which is Paddies’ work.” Bringing back a promise made last year in his bid for President, he will “stop knackers coming through Trinity to use the Dart.”
When asked about how he thinks current Education Officer Ashley Cooke has fared this year, Preston responded that Cooke has sucked up to the nanny state too much. Preston plans to fire the entire library staff when elected, replacing them with immigrants who will do twice the work for half the pay.
Preston plans on “ruling with an iron fist in a glove made of cuddles.” Students looking for help with essays will be sent to the boiler room.
On the topic of his failed presidential bid last year Preston insists that he was, “hoisted out by this puppet Union.” He claims that they couldn’t handle him and that the election of Cónán Ó Broin was, “a Bush election.”
Preston asserts that he has a strong backbone and a stiff upper lip and doesn’t care what the average students wants in an Education Officer, but feels they should vote for him and listen to their betters. He said he is more than confident in his victory.
