It seems he has everything to live for: immense creative talent, a legion of loyal fans and the prospect of releasing his new collection at Paris Fashion Week. He is 40 when he takes his own life. His name is Alexander McQueen and the day 11 February 2010.
Everyone has a connection with a story of suicide. One night somebody I know was awoken by a phone call from their best friend to say that he had just attempted suicide. Luckily he got help in time and recovered, physically at least. But I saw the effect this had on my friend, who had received the phone call that night. I saw how he was struggling to come to terms with what could have happened, the grief he could have felt, and the tears he might have shed if his friend had carried out his intention. He would have needed so many grief and bereavement therapy sessions to get over this unimaginable loss.
Thank God I have never been in a position where I have considered suicide. I can only begin to imagine the depth of loneliness and despair it must take to arrive at the belief that living is futile. I have always thought that I would be too afraid to go through with it: too afraid to take the steps to end my own life just as the people who go through with it are afraid to go on living.
During a nursing placement in a busy accident and emergency department, I was shocked at the amount of people my age or younger who had attempted suicide. I couldnt imagine what could ever be that bad to force someone to think that death was the only escape. Suicide cannot be undone. The problem was probably only temporary and suicide is the end. It is the end for the individual, the family who has been robbed of a son or a daughter, a brother or a sister, a mother or a father. It is the end of friendships forged over the years. The pain is etched perpetually in the hearts of those left behind as they struggle to answer the questions that will haunt them for the rest of their own lives-Could they have prevented it? Were there warning signs? Why? It is true what they say: more than one soul dies in a suicide. For anyone who does lose a loved one, there are ways to manage the grief. Orlando grief counseling is just one example of trained professionals who specialise in a grief counseling and can assist you with any issues you would like to discuss. You shouldn’t be ashamed to talk to someone.
Thankfully the National Office for Suicide Preventions (NOSP) 2008 report notes the lowest suicide rate per 100,000 since 1993 when suicide was decriminalised. However, they also noted an increase of 8% of people presenting to the accident and emergency following self-harming. Many people put suicide on a scale, with normal behaviour as the counterbalance. Those that injure themselves consider self-harming to appear somewhere in the middle. Self-harmers use pain as a release. They would never consider suicide, and it is just a way of releasing pent up emotions, a chance to liberate their inner turmoil. Committing suicide is ending things permanently. Self-harmers just want a quick-fix to make themselves feel a little better. The reality is that people who self-harm are 50-100 times more likely to attempt suicide than those who dont, according to Rethink, the Mental Illness charity.
According to a Samaritan survey carried out in 2001 to find out why people self-harmed, the top answer was to find release from a terrible solution. As in the case of suicide the victim sees it as the only possible way to resolve their suffering. Although the NOSP is taking large steps towards suicide and self-harming prevention, as a country it is our responsibility to provide an adequate Mental Health Service that ensures that no individual ever gets to the point where they think harming themselves is the only way to make themselves feel better or that ending their own life is the only answer to their problems. A strong counselling service is needed alongside proper education about the importance of positive mental health. We need to remove the ignorance and stigma that exists around mental health problems so that we can break down the barriers that prevent people from asking for the help they so desperately need. Ben Okri once said The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love and to be greater than our suffering. I agree, but I also know that nobody can do it alone. We need to stand together and accept that life is hard. We need to acknowledge that there will always be times when we cannot cope on our own. We need to admire the struggle it sometimes takes just to keep going. But most of all we need to stop the spread of the idea that suicide is ever a way out of our problems.
