Paul Doyle | Staff Writer
“think about this mathematical statistic: 85 per cent of rape cases go unreported. That seems to be fairly good odds.” – Uni Lad
‘’Go make me a sandwich! LOL” is the epitome of wit usually utilized by fifteen year olds to mock their female friends. In my youth and naivety, I used to think that this was pretty much what sexism amounted to in good ol’ egalitarian Eireann.
‘The F word’ – Feminism: I used to dismiss it with complete and utter contempt, much to the annoyance of many of my female friends. ‘Don’t be a feminist, be an equalist! Sheesh, stop complaining about men holding doors open for you, wouldya?!’ seemed like a completely flawless argument to me. You can imagine my thought process – ‘Sure Eamon DeValera wouldn’t have let sexism become a part of Irish society when he won the Second World War and liberated us from Britain in 1916.’ Equip with the infuriating ignorance of a young man that thinks he knows much more than he actually does, a younger version of myself wouldn’t hear any stories that conflicted with my notion that sexism wasn’t an issue.
Growing up in front of a TV, the image of the stereotypical ‘feminazi’ perpetuated in media was engrained in my brain from an early age. Almost every strong female character I can remember watching on television as a child was incredibly unlikeable. I hated Jessie Spano on ‘Saved by the Bell’ for wrecking the other characters buzz on a consistent basis. Lisa Simpson got on my nerves, and she was irritatingly self-righteous; I just wanted to see more of Bart and Homer before bedtime. Xena Warrior Princess just made me feel uncomfortable. This could be one of the reasons as a teenager I was so sceptical and dismissive of feminism – up until that point, strong female characters invariably stood between me and laughter. Anyone I met that declared they were a feminist, I automatically assumed would try to ruin my fun in some way.
UniLad – self-described as “The Lads Magazine for Students” is apparently the fastest growing student magazine in the country. It does pretty much exactly what it says on the tin, promoting ‘lad-ish’ interests such as beer, football, pizza, tits and…tits. Recently UniLad posted a picture depicting a girl’s leg, with written in pen varying descriptions for the female in question, the descriptive noun appropriate being dictated by the length of her skirt. The highest 3 on her leg read ‘asking for it’, ‘slut’ and ‘whore’. Be as obtuse as you wish, there’s absolutely no question as to what ‘asking for it’ is referring to. After objection from a number of people – mainly women vocalizing their disgust, the picture was swiftly removed. If you follow the UniLad page on Facebook, as I occasionally do, you will know that there’s a standard ‘Lad-ish’ method for dealing with criticism – usually a deletion of the odious content in question, replacing it with some kind of image of a soldier hugging his child upon returning home from a tour of duty – the profession of solidarity with members of the British Defence Forces apparently serving as a shield to any further accusations of poor taste. I’m not quite sure that UniLad’s reputation is what troops fighting in the Middle East signed up to defend.
About two years ago, I had a piece published on the UniLad webpage. They were just starting up, and no one was quite sure what the page was about – all I knew was that a very large number of people would be reading my precious words. I wrote a short piece about the gym (as far as I know, it’s still on their website). Given their promotion of the idea that raping someone because they’re in a short skirt is somehow acceptable, I can safely say that I won’t be including “The Lads Magazine for Students” on my journalistic CV.
In the face of the increasingly widespread feeling that some women’s issues aren’t being seriously looked at, more and more people seem to be asking the question (at least on the internet) ‘if feminism is so important, why isn’t it taken seriously?’ There exist a number of schools of thought on this issue: some of us hold the younger version of my selves position, that sexism ain’t no thing in Ireland – and that these people complaining are just extremists. Some of us believe that inequality is just something that exists de facto, that’s the way it is, and there’s no changing it. Some of us are outright sexist. Some of us aren’t sexist per se, but don’t particularly care about women’s grievances. I could write an entire article on these differing points of view, there are that many – but you get the idea.
In my opinion the conflation of feminism with extremist politics and parties has greatly contributed to a societal resentment of an entirely legitimate movement
Why then, don’t people seem to take feminists seriously? It’s a complicated question. In my opinion the conflation of feminism with extremist politics and parties has greatly contributed to a societal resentment of an entirely legitimate movement. We (and I’m hesitant to use the term) ‘Lads’ dismiss claims of mistreatment, sexism, misogyny and such, because by default we associate it with bra-burning, man-hating, extremists – Adrienne Rich, basically (whose terrible poetry really did not help enlightening me about women’s issues – but that’s another story). I’m guilty of it; I think a not insignificant number of males (and females, for that matter) are. I used to have a tendency to write off women’s issues, because as a male of the species, I would sincerely feel attacked when told that there’s sexism in our society, as though I were being blamed, which I felt was unfair because I really have always made an effort to be fair minded and treat everyone I meet equally. Any girl informing me of discrimination she’d faced was just being a big Jessie Spano and must have just gotten the wrong end of the stick.
I’m not some kind of stereotypical male feminist – the kind that is dismissed by ‘Lads’ as only feigning concern for feminist issues to get women, far from it. I’ve never particularly considered myself to be a feminist, why would I? – I’m not involved in any feminist causes or movements, other than personally making a concerted effort to be, well….not sexist. Associating with women’s causes is becoming a lot easier for me these days though, because more and more, increasingly vulgar examples of a normalization of sexual violence (that I wish to be as far removed from as possible) are jumping out at me. The picture posted by UniLad (which was taken down about thirty minutes later), I must say, irked me quite a bit, mostly because of it’s disgusting, rape-promoting nature, but also because it served as an unpleasant reminder of how dismissive I have been in the past to people telling me that they’re combating against ‘rape culture’ and general sexism. Part of me feels embarrassed I never noticed this sort of thing before – because when searched for it’s so easily found.
It’s always distressing to hear about horrific attacks on women in distant faraway lands – the news reporter that was sexually assaulted by a mob in Egypt, that poor girl in India, or the innumerable tales of women attacked and degraded in Iran. It’s also quite easy for us to say to ourselves, ‘well that’s over there, that sort of thing would never happen here’ – in all of our comfort, we write off brutality as something that we’re beyond. Given the statistics, it’s pretty plain to see that this isn’t the case. Look it up, rape is a thing here too.
‘Lad’ culture is something that I’ve never personally been particularly fond of, but I’ve always brushed it off as merely not being to my taste. You might say I tolerated it – I’m going to go ahead and draw a line at promoting rape, though, if that’s OK with everyone. If absolutely nothing else, I’m not too keen on the implication that I can’t control myself around women that are dressed in a particular way; it doesn’t really matter what a gal is wearing in my presence, she can be assured that I won’t sexually assault her. It’s unfair and demeaning to assume that men are animalistic predators unable to control themselves around the opposite sex. I find it pretty insulting, as it happens – I’m not a rapist, thanks.
There was no magical epiphany in which I suddenly realised that sexism and the normalization of sexual violence were very real and serious issues that seriously harm both men and women, I just gradually became aware of it as I got older. Sadly, I must admit, I have nothing new to add to the argument that surrounds this particular issue; there are far better and more articulate writers that can tell you exactly what the facts are, and how sexism, the normalization of sexual violence, and other issues can be combated – frankly, I wouldn’t know where to begin. Hopefully, though, this short sequence of words has given you some insight into the thought process of otherwise sane men that so easily dismiss women’s grievances.
