Fiona Sheils & Eibhleann Ni Dhiarmada | Guest Contributors
4 countries. 7 modes of transport. 36 hours. Team 21 braved perilous waters and crime riddled highways to make their way to Paris, France.
Setting off from Trinity, our first port of call was Irish Ferries. After blagging a return trip to Holyhead, we arrived in the quaint Welsh town only to be turned away from the train station as we watched the three other teams who had been travelling with us thus far ride off into the sunset. We turned our backs to the station and wandered aimlessly through the deserted town holding our sign for Bangor, the feeble fruits of our first hitch-hiking attempt, when low and behold, the Tangerine Dream Machine pulled up beside us and the window rolled down.
“We’re just off to Tesco to buy a few beers but we can drop you in Bangor when we’re done,” came from inside the van.
After the initial shock of getting into a van full of strange men wore off, we realised they were a charming stag party from Manchester and we had great craic with them on our journey as they taught us Welsh and gave Fiona a haircut.
Arriving in Bangor, we hopped a train to Crewe where we formulated our “Get out of Wales” plan. Several hours and a couple of free cappuccinos later, we were kindly informed that Crewe was in fact in the Midlands, about two hours away from Wales. Cringe. Note to future Jail breakers: bring a map. Seriously. We hit up a garage where some friendly firemen directed us to a road where we could catch a ride. A young electrician we fondly named Chuckles picked us up and dropped us at a main service station in Sandbach where we searched for a trucker in shining armour to lead us to the ports of East England. After realizing they were all sound asleep, we sat down to regroup and had a panini on Chuckles.
Around midnight we decided to explore the station which led us to an absolutely bonkers lady on her way to Brighton. We hopped in her car and sped off. Literally. The cops pulled us over and told us we were going to die. We bopped along to Rihanna as we discussed the friends she made on the internet that she had spent the weekend visiting. As we pulled into Brighton several hours later, she refused to abandon us in an unknown city in the middle of the night. Being the adorable strays that we are, she brought us home with her to meet her husband, 5 kids, 2 dogs and exotic fish.
Brighton early (geddit?) at 7 am the next morning we woke up in her living room and our new best friend’s husband dropped us into the center of town, however our plans to make it Dover were smashed to smithereens. We made our way to New Haven, courtesy of the funniest bus driver ever, who regaled us with tales of his own “Evade and Escape” back in the day, from west Germany to Alabama. With the unlimited free bus tickets he sorted us out with, we ran to the New Haven ferry terminal with minutes to spare, only to discover we couldn’t charm our way on. We explained our cause to the ferry foot passengers and they all pooled their resources to buy us two tickets to Dieppe on the 10:30 crossing. We were sent off on our merry way across the English Channel with two free freshly made bacon sandwiches.
At half three on Sunday we arrived in France. The plan? Make it to Paris before the end of Trinity Jailbreak 2103. Some friendly yet smelly locals and their 18 year old dog formulated a plan to get us to a prime hitch hiking spot and together we took a bus through Dieppe, paid for by them. At Chateau Michel we set up shop with our “PARIS” hitch-hiking sign and we got approached by a couple on their way to Rouen. Although the driver was on the phone, smoking and judging by the cast on his fingers, had gotten into a fight recently, we braved the unknown and jumped in.
At Rouen, without any concept of our geographical location (again, bring a map), we stood at a traffic light with our brilliantly executed Paris sign. After a few minutes in the freezing cold (the temperature was definitely below arctic and our smelly helpers had predicted snow) a van pulled up and the middle door slides open. Inside were six very massive, intimidating black men and one British knacker. Exhaustion having deprived us of common sense, we slid into the van and pulled away. We’re not going to sugar coat it, we honestly didn’t think we’d make it back out of that van alive. Our whole lives flashed before our eyes, but eventually we calmed down and starting chatting to what revealed itself to be the friendliest basketball team in all of France, on their way home from a big win.
Their high spirits were contagious and we took the scenic route through their hometown where they pointed out important landmarks, like the gym where they work out. These absolute gentlemen went a good half hour out of their way to help us in our bid for Paris, all the while laughing hysterically at Eibhleann, the ginger Irish girl with no French. After bestowing upon us some French hugs, their leader Dumbo (actual name) left us at a toll bridge.
We walked along the hard shoulder until, in a stroke of unbelievable luck, a charming woman on her way home to Paris picked us up and drove us right up to Trocadero Square. We ran from her car right through the square, towards the most beautiful view of the Eiffel Tower that Paris provides. With a little tearing up, we had a massive team hug and promptly took a photo of ourselves to send back to Jailbreak HQ.
The excitement of arrival having worn off a little and the cold setting in (we didn’t all end up in Argentina) we turned on our roaming and discovered that we had been inundated with offers of accommodation in Paris by lovely Erasmus students, friends and family. We made our way to the Irish college where we received the warmest welcome of any Jailbreak team in history! Complete with a personalised sign, hot cups of tea and pink shnacks, we got to sit down, relax and hear all the Jailbreak news from the nicest bunch of people we’ve ever met (because we know you’re all reading this). Looking back on our journey a few weeks later, we’d again like to thank everyone who helped us along the way, especially everyone at Jailbreak HQ and Law Soc for flying us home! Last piece of vomit inducing cheese – we couldn’t have done it without you all.
