Starting college is an an exciting experience. However, many freshers arrive with big ideas that college just cannot live up to – ideas like these:
I’m Going to Get Involved in Loads of Societies
Expectation
Saturday morning of Freshers’ Week we dragged ourselves down to the big square in Halls, lured by promises of free pizza, and were confronted by a carnival of annoyingly/infectiously happy people. I was never really sure what happened once I got down there. It’s all just a blur of bright colours, pizza slices, and disappearing two euro coins. When I arrived back in my apartment my wallet was a lot larger than normal. It had lost about forty euro, but I had picked up about 15 new society cards. Even then I didn’t see the warning signs. We are all convinced to one degree or another that we are going to get really involved in a society. For the most part it’s debating; “Are you doing Maidens? Yeah, I’m doing both. I’m definitely going to get really involved in debating this year.” I went even further though. Rifling through my membership cards I pulled out the one for Ultimate Frisbee Soc, convinced that this was definitely going to be my new thing.
Reality
I never went to a single Ultimate Frisbee training session or meeting or match. It still took me almost half a year to unsubscribe from the mailing list though. I was convinced I would actually go, and then I was just too embarrassed to email. You’ll likely only get involved in one or two societies, and being in Halls almost counts as one. Societies take loads of time away from lying around at home and going for coffee. And if you are like me you’ll come in terribly hungover to your Maidens’ debate on underage drinking and never return. You might even decide to get an ID card from ID Moose so you can go to the 21+ clubs with your friends when you are in the first couple of years of college. At the end of the third year, you’ll have a mini panic-attack when you look at your CV and realize that you’ve accomplished absolutely nothing since you’ve arrived in college. You’ll get involved in every single society then and run for every single position, desperately trying to find one thing that will make you look employable, and if you don’t get elected you will never go to a meeting again.
I’m Going to Get Involved in Student Politics
Expectation
As with societies, lots of us thought that we were going to get involved student politics. Armed with incredibly lofty ideas and sure that I had principles, I ran for class rep. I was convinced that I would win. Nobody had ideas as good as mine. I was really friendly to everyone. I didn’t go too red during my speech. I had it in the bag.
Reality
To bastardise a quote from Montgomery Burns – “Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in student politics.” Someone definitely rigged the election. Just because he pretended to drink on stage. That shouldn’t be allowed. Why didn’t I think of that? I didn’t lose my class rep election by the way. That was a joke. I didn’t even run. I swear. I definitely would have won though.
I’m Going to Stay with My Boyfriend or Girlfriend from Back Home
Expectation
You don’t understand our love! It’s special – like a unicorn, on stilts, doing backflips. We’ll Skype for three hours every night and we’ll see each other every weekend and visit every other week. We’re going to stay together forever! And we’ll get married on top of a mountain and there’ll be doves flying, and flutes playing. And none of you are invited!
Reality
Two possible reality options here: Number one – You break up with your other half, or number two – I hate happiness. I did come to college with a girlfriend, and was completely convinced that I would end up staying with her. We didn’t – long distance and whatnot. But what was I saying? Oh right, you’re not special! If you are one of those crazy people who manages to make it work I commend you. If you don’t just remember you are in college now, and around loads of new people. You’ll have someone new tomorrow, or at least by next week or… well, actually, that leads me nicely into my next point.
I Will Have Loads of Sex
Expectation
Sex everywhere: your bed, their bed, the kitchen, outside, in college, in a bush, hanging upside down from a tree singing Bohemian Rhapsody. And any time of the day too. You’ll stumble into having sex with someone while you’re tying your shoes. The only time you won’t be having sex is when you are telling all of your mates about how much sex you’ve been having, before rushing off to have some more sex. And you’re not even promising you won’t be having sex then.
Reality
A lot of your time might revolve around sex, but mostly you boasting to your friends about that one person you slept with that they wouldn’t know… because you met them on holidays, or at the Gaeltacht. A lot of your nights will end with you shovelling taco fries at your face hoping that some of the dripping, greasy goodness will end up in your mouth, before you stumble home with your friends while recounting how you almost got with someone. They were definitely unreal, but then you lost them because you saw this girl that you knew from the Gaeltacht…
Trinity Is Essentially Hogwarts
Expectation
I was almost convinced coming into Trinity that every lecture hall I sat in would look like the Old Library. Lecturers would all swan around in cloaks, and I would study late in a candlelit library on a mahogany desk surrounded by old leather-bound books. I was also excited by the fact that one of the buildings was even designed to look like the Hanging Gardens of Babylon.
Reality
The Arts Block is architecture’s finest attempt to capture despair and imprison it within cement. If you are an arts student this is where you’ll have all of your lectures: in decidedly un-Hogwartsesque surroundings. The only time you’ll spend in any inspiring building will be when you have an exam in the Exam Hall, and even then you’ll be too sleep deprived and caffeine intoxicated to notice anything.
I Will Go to All of My Lectures
Expectation
A Golden Week won’t be difficult at all. You only have 12 hours a week, and no nine o’clock starts. You’re going to take handwritten notes in your lectures, and then transfer them to your laptop afterwards. That way you’ll remember them. Oh, and you’re going to do all of your reading in advance, so when you do go out you won’t fall behind.
Reality
I don’t even know why I am writing this one. We all know exactly what is going to happen. You’ll wake up hung over, and look over at the sparkly, hopeful timetable that you have stuck to your noticeboard. Rather than saying to yourself, “I only have one hour. I will go in.” You’ll say, “It’s only one hour. I can definitel miss one hour.” And so your descent into being a bum will begin. One hour will become two and suddenly it is three o’clock in the morning before your exam and you’re looking for that scribbled note that you took in the one lecture you showed up for.
