Fionn McGorry | Blogger
LP Hartley introduced “The Go-Between” with the immortal line “The moustache is a foreign country, they do things differently there.” Another week of thinly-‘tached misery has passed us by, and many of us are learning to accept our different state, despite the historical ostracism of our furry kin. How has life changed for us since November 1? How have our upper lips felt their treatment at the hands of friends and enemies has been since their occupation by bristly invaders, crusading in the name of men’s health?
This week, I consulted several of Trinity’s leading Mobros, in order to gauge their experiences with the fur. They come from such a variety of courses as History and Political Science, History, and History and Political Science. You can see here that I went for a strong, varied, sample group, to ensure the scientific utility of my findings.
I first asked them whether people perceived them differently now that they had made the choice to adopt lip-furninshings. A common response among fair-haired respondents was that people seem initially unaware that they are growing a moustache at all. This only becomes a problem for the darker-featured men like myself, when we get lazy between shaves. If, like me, you’re prone to let stubble grow for a couple of days at a time in between shaves, the moustache fades away, camouflaging itself among your grizzly features. Shaving becomes an altogether much more time-consuming process, reports one of my respondents, in order to make it very clear to people that he is indeed growing a moustache.
Alongside these perhaps predictable responses was one which recognised the increased awareness of Movember as a trend, likening a Moustache in November to the daffodil of Daffodil Day, the Poppy of Armistice Day, and the variously-coloured ribbons for different causes.
The second question I had asked them was whether or not they would consider growing facial hair outside of Movember. Expectedly, the answer was a resounding no. Whether or not they had wanted to grow facial hair seemed to be irrelevant, with all respondents citing the fact that, outside of the safe environs of Movember, they would look silly indeed with facial hair. One respondent even said: “I’m like a bad imitation of Graeme Souness in the 80s”. They aim to pursue the season that’s in it and raise awareness for men’s health causes in the process.
The final question related to any consequences following their pursuit the elusive ‘tache. Although tickled lips and more strenuous shaving were cited, with one respondent speaking of an inexplicable desire to purchase more tweed suits, the most common theme among the responses related to food. Some seemed surprised that they’d not had crumbs stuck in their moustaches yet, another cited drinking milk as being a “toughie”. One respondent seemed eagerly to await the day that the moustache acted as a free filter for anything he drank. It seems desirable, therefore, that such Victorian implements as spoons and teacups designed to shield moustaches from food and drink, should return to our shelves each November, to cater for mildly-inconvenienced men who sacrifice our top lips.
Myself, I am highly grateful that my moustache is at least filling out somewhat. Hopefully it will continue with that trend, and I shall have a respectable yard brush by the month’s end. I was told today that mine resembled Michael Cera’s attempt to grow a moustache. This, (perhaps complimentary?) comment, put a dampener on my day, and I have secreted myself indoors to shield from my clean-shaven adversaries. To contrast with the knowing glances and some well-appreciated donations, the only downside to being moustachioed is experiencing the double-take the librarians do as I enter the library, flashing my student ID, with the baby-faced Junior Freshman I used to be grinning up at them from the blue card, surprisingly more vigilant and suspicious of the student with the ‘tache.
Go to my MoSpace at the link below and spare a few quid if you can, to support Men’s Cancer initiatives.
@fionnmcgorry
