Fionn McGorry | Blogger
As a young, moustachioed man, I can categorically say “uneasy lies the face that wears the ‘tache”. Fear of ridicule would encourage many to shave theirs off. For comfort and inspiration in our endeavours as we drag on through Movember, it’s time to allow my institutional pride to flourish and take a look at the famous Trinity Graduates with sproutings from their chins, cheeks and top lips. As a very old college indeed, I was sure there would at least be a few, and these are the top five I came up with:
5. John Joly
This man had an impossibly bushy moustache. Along with coming first in his Engineering Class as well as getting a First in English Literature, this graduate invented radiotherapy to treat cancer, as well as the cohesion-tension theory of water movement in plants, which will be well-ingrained in the minds of those unfortunate souls who studied Biology for their Leaving Certs. He also pioneered colour photography, so, in the long run, it’s because of him that I am able to watch Simon Amstell’s glorious face in beautiful technicolour High Definition. This man’s achievements are incredibly impressive, and as well as our lovely Joly Theatre in the Hamilton, he has a crater on Mars named for his efforts. The moustache clearly made the difference.
4. J.P. Donleavy
This Trinity Dropout (we’re still going to claim him) wrote “Fairytale of New York” and “The Ginger Man”. As a result, we have him to thank for the Trinity student pub that bears his book’s name, and him to blame for the title of the Christmas Song which has been played at least 920 times this week, by the time this article is published. An influential and highly-prolific Irish-American author, several of his characters studied at Trinity, and “The Ginger Man” was originally banned in Ireland for its obscenity–often the mark of a great work.
3. Bram Stoker
The only person to have served both as President of the Phil, and Auditor of the Hist, as well as going on to create Dracula (or something), this man was a proud wearer of a beard. His fantastic facial hair sets him apart from other famous Trinity writers, like the clean-shaven Oscar Wilde, Jonathan Swift and Samuel Beckett. This Dublin legend created one of the most recognisable characters of all time, and his effect on literature and pop culture continues through to the present day. The high bar he set has simply not been met by phenomena such as “Twilight”, and derivative Hallowe’en costumes mock his output. This bearded man is a graduate we ought to be proud of.
2. President Douglas Hyde
This man has to come second. He should be no stranger. The bust that stands in the Foyer of the Douglas Hyde Gallery clearly displays this man’s fantastically thick, pointed-ended moustache. The founder of the Gaelic League became President in 1938 and played the defining role in the early history of the office, setting the precedents that his successors would follow. His Protestant State Funeral was problematic-the Catholic members of Cabinet-the majority- had to stand outside St Patrick’s Cathedral while the funeral took place, as the Catholic church didn’t permit them to enter Protestant Churches, partially defeating the purpose of choosing Hyde as President, which was partly an attempt to undermine claims that Ireland was a Catholic state.
1. Senator David Norris.
Well, who else could come first in a ranking of Trinity facial hair but this chap? While primarily known for challenging oppressive, outdated laws at the European Court of Human Rights, pioneering the study of the works of Joyce (another man with a cracking moustache), performing in a one-man show around the world, or his long tenure serving as a legislator in the Seanad, he’s one of Ireland’s most upstanding bearded men. He wins the top spot because of his ownership of his beard of late, declaring that he would shave his famous beard, which, in his words, concealed “a multitude of chins”, if the Seanad Abolition referendum failed. It did, and he did. He raised over €15,000 for Cancer Charities, with the stunt performed on Today FM, declaring afterwards, “Oh god, I look like Michael Noonan.”
Perhaps one day, readers, another young Trinity student will include some of this year’s Trinity MoBros in an article like this. My moustache is certainly getting longer and darker this week, if not thicker. Hopefully when the month draws to a close, I will be able to say I’ve raised a significant amount, but until then, help me get to my goal of €150 by going to my MoSpace at the link below!
@fionnmcgorry
