Sophie Guillermin-Golet | Contributing Writer
If I dare to write, it is to denounce, in the name of all my international fellows, a frienemy, which tries to ruin our cherished moments with our families or friends, across oceans and fields.
“Oh sorry, aïe can’t. Aïe ave a Skype date wiz a friend.”
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I have been an Erasmus student for two months, during which I discovered Ireland and began to embrace the Irish way of life. I almost don’t notice the rain anymore. A new word has entered my vocabulary. I am not talking about “craic”, nor “grand”. The noun is Skype. Of course, I knew it before; as surprising as it can sound, we have Internet in the French provinces, and even drinkable water. If you are lucky enough to be one of my friends, you often can hear me say with my delicious accent: “Oh sorry, aïe can’t. Aïe ave a Skype date wiz a friend.”
The purpose of Skype is to do “things together, whenever you’re apart.” Attractive promise, right? I could totally vote for that. Well, the promises are going even further away on the website: “With Skype you can share a story, celebrate a birthday, learn a language, hold a meeting with colleagues – just about anything you need to do together every day.” Your eyes have lit up, like those of a student in front of a free meal. It seems to be a dream coming true.
I cannot deny the fact that this software born in 2004 makes living away from your relatives easier. As the crow flies, I live about 1200 kilometres away from home and most of my friends are spread all around the world, as they also study abroad. I guess that, despite everything, I can say a small thank you to Skype.
Thanks to it, I can explain more or less all my life of expatriate in Dublin. There are so many stories worth telling that do not belong on social networks that I can talk about with my friends living in Torino, Mexico, or, much closer, London. Furthermore, I can seem so posh when I intentionally brag that I am tired because I spoke to that friend who is in Australia. I introduced my flatmates to my parents. I managed to catch a glimpse of the new life of my friends.
But wait a minute before throwing a flash-mob on “You make my dreams” of Hall & Oates, like Tom in (500) Days of Summer. It could be perfect, as perfect as Ryan Gosling, as awesome as not being cold in the Berkeley. Unfortunately, we are far away from the “call me, call me anytime” of Blondie, and closer to the “Call Me Maybe” of Carly Rae Jepsen.
First of all, the Internet loves not working at the worst times. And I am not going to talk about people who need an Ethernet cable to have Internet. These things still exist, and are as annoying as you can imagine. If I move my computer one millimetre to the right, the damn thing doesn’t work anymore. As a result, the Skype conversation you were having goes through so many bugs that you will never be able to finish it.
It really gets on my nerves when a Skype-date fails. With some people it is so hard to plan one that it is worse than spilling your coffee on your only clean shirt. The time zones do not help. It would so much easier it the Earth was as flat as a pizza, like Homer thought.
Moreover, we are such spoiled children that Skype is never enough. What is the only solution at this problem? Harry Potter should stop being selfish, and start sharing at least a small part of his magic. I dreamt many times of being the master of Apparition, or just owning a Firebolt. At least I could spend weekend in Argentina or Spain, and I would not have to pay for my LUAS ticket. Admit it, it would be legen- wait for it -dary.
So after all, can we say like old chaps that it was better before? Maybe it was better when we could only write letters in order to keep in touch; when we had to wait weeks to have some news from our best friend; when we could not share our amazing stories with our relatives.
Oh, well. In fact, as a perfect kid of the 21st Century, I prefer keeping my love-hate relationship with this software.
Illustration by Alicia Mitchell
