I could open with “Welcome to the best years of your life” or “College is going to be unreal”. Both I know I will regret saying in years to come, so I won’t. I also couldn’t open with those words because I’m not even sure if these years will be the best in my life.
Despite having promised myself I wouldn’t, I’ve applied for my first student loan. My dissertation is already threatening to take over my Friday nights. College hasn’t always been the most positive experience, and it hasn’t been exactly what I had expected it to be – crazy parties and eccentric lecturers with big glasses – but it is, ultimately, great. It did, however, take a while to learn this.
For me, Trinity is a second home. I don’t have the same surname as my mother, but we are the spitting image of each other, and trying to hide the fact that I’m the daughter of a lecturer doesn’t work. I have wandered the halls of the Arts Block ever since I have been old enough to wander. I was, as a child, a big fan of pouring myself overly full cups of water from the water dispenser in the main office of the English Department. However, the thrill of using the stapler quickly came to an end at the age of eight. With a staple in my thumb and blood gushing out, I should have realised that university is, like the seagulls that loiter around the Arts Block, not always the most pleasant.
I did cry, and felt very lost. As I was given a place in history on reduced points through the DARE scheme, I wondered if I was actually intelligent enough
On the Monday of Freshers’ Week I walked in to Front Square and turned on my heel almost immediately. Nope. Too loud. Too much. At the induction for the history class of 2017 I sat by myself at the back and quickly ducked out as our Student 2 Student (S2S) mentors entered. Who needed a tour? Or classmates? Especially when one of my best friends was also in Trinity, and I could go for coffee with her instead of going on my tour. But we quickly learned that our schedules meant that we were rarely free at the same time, and suddenly my foolproof plan of being too cool to care didn’t make me feel as great as I had expected.
At the end of my interview with Jack Gleeson for our Freshers’ Week supplement, he asked me what advice I’d give myself as a fresher. After the interview, I listened back over what I had to say for myself: “I spent the first term crying in my mum’s office. I moved schools in fourth year and I had just settled in there and then all of a sudden I was in this new place. I think I thought it was going to be easier. I walked in and thought ‘I can do this!’, and then there were all these people who knew each other and were willing to go and talk to people they didn’t know, and I just thought, ‘Oh my god’. It’s not enough to just be friendly with the security guards, you kind of have to get to know the people in your class as well. I would probably say to myself, ‘Look, if it doesn’t go well, it’s not the end of the world. You will settle in eventually.’ I loved the course, which really helped. I was happy to go to my classes. The problem was the social side of things. I didn’t join a society. I didn’t join anything. And then in second year I joined The University Times and DU History. I think you need to dive in. By Christmas time, it was good, and I was still there.” While I have the opportunity to write exactly what I want on these pages and rethink and re-word it numerous times, I still feel that what I said to Jack Gleeson is the best advice that I could give myself.
I did cry, and felt very lost. As I was given a place in history on reduced points through the DARE scheme, I wondered if I was actually intelligent enough. I decided to deal with these feelings by using some of the services Trinity provides for its students. I used the Disability Service during my first year in college, and it really did help. We created a routine and I began to feel much more on top of things. I had time put aside to go to the library, the gym and to work the two jobs I had in first year. There was finally a sense balance, which was essential to my coping with such a new environment. Spending €15 to have a gym instructor make out an exercise plan that was suited to me was possibly the best investment I made in first year.
These years may not necessarily be the best of my life, but they have certainly, so far, taught me things I thought I would never know
Eventually, I had had enough of feeling alone, and I made myself speak to someone in my tutorial who asked I to go for coffee. Even thinking about it now makes me feel nervous. She said she was already going for lunch with two other girls from our course but that I was more than welcome to come along. And the rest, as they say – I can’t help myself – is history.
I think my experience of my first few weeks as a fresher is summed up by my truly awful student card, which I often read to say UGLY but rather says UG-Y. Although I still get caught off guard by my choice of hair band in my ID photo, I know that the orange face looking out at me from that card would have felt a little better knowing what I do now.
By choosing to go to university you’re making it clear that you are willing to learn. I think it is important, as I hope the following pages demonstrate, to be open to learning about all aspects of life in college, not just about the course you have chosen. I know if I was a fresher reading this I would be sceptical of that last sentence, but it is true. These years may not necessarily be the best of my life, but they have certainly, so far, taught me things I thought I would never know, both socially and academically. Trinity, while often frustrating, is truly unforgettable.
