Reposing at the very bottom of campus like a sunken ship on a silty abyss, Goldsmith Hall has been described as the worst place on Earth. Naturally, I decided to investigate, and so, off I went, a real-life episode of Dora the Explorer. In Leaving Certificate geography terminology, Goldsmith may be described as a tombolo (an island joined to the mainland through a sand spit). In many ways, the bridge acts as a lifeline for the residents, an umbilical cord linking it to an old-world mecca of architectural heritage. Alas, it could not be more different to its mother campus. It’s the Ned Flanders to your Homer Simpson. It’s the rogue toilet paper that sticks to the soul of your shoe. It’s the hedgehog you fed once that keeps coming back for more milk and bread.
Make no mistake, this building is as clingy like a gold-digging ex. Having said this, architecturally speaking, Goldsmith isn’t all bad. The Pearse St facade was influenced by the Looshaus in Vienna, a building acclaimed for its simplicity of design and use of high-quality materials. Last week I ventured into Goldsmith with one of its residents, who acted as my trusty sherpa, in a bid to ascertain whether word on the street is true: is Goldsmith the worst place on earth?
We entered through an unassuming door to the left of the Sports Centre. Hesitantly, we meandered up the stairs, both of us tense due to recent reports of a “raccoon infestation”. Across the glass bridge lies a courtyard bound on one side by the red-brick walls of Pearse St DART Station. Opposite lie the residences, accessible using a lift which has no mirrors. It is here that we entered the domain of the faux wood lino, of the painted breeze block wall and doors with fire-safety hinges. Shook by the thought of racoons, the resident reassured me that there are benefits about being a Goldsmith inhabitant. One, it’s the closest Trinity residence to the beach.
Two, it boasts spectacular views of the rock climbing wall. As I left for home, I realised that perhaps Goldsmith is misunderstood. It fulfils its role in society, providing shelter for students. Everybody needs a Ned Flanders in order to realise how great your other neighbours are, just as Goldsmith is needed in order to appreciate the finer structures on campus. Hence, contrary to urban belief, it is not the worst place on Earth.
