We’re entering the second half of the ’20s here, and with that comes time for the ol’ internal check-in. Are you where you want to be when it comes to how you engage in your romantic endeavors? Do you know your boundaries and maintain them? Do you know how not to choose the same person every time, just in different, sometimes hotter, bodies?
If yes, give yourself a big round of applause and a celebratory drink — because in the times of navigating who we are and what we want to be in the world, it’s not always smooth sailing navigating the waters of dating and love.
Boundaries Without Guilt
So for those who are looking to break free of the behaviors that no longer serve your best interest, this is your time to shine. As luck may have it, the new year rings in new energy. New energy that you have the opportunity to be intentional with.
Of course, isn’t it easy enough to vaguely suggest finding yourself and be on your way to love and happiness? For those who are rightfully overwhelmed with the daunting task of self-reflection, I offer some thoughts that I myself will be considering as I build my relationships in 2025.
Let’s all say this one together: “I will not feel guilty for upholding my boundaries.”
This goes for any and all relationships — romantic or otherwise. For myself, setting boundaries has sometimes felt an elusive concept where I am left pondering: What even are my boundaries? And how do I know what they are before someone crosses them and I’m left feeling disappointed or violated in some way, shape, or form?
Boundaries are built as you come to understand who you are, so of course with that will come some growing pains. Some ways I like to check in with myself when something feels off about my relationships: How much am I willing to give to this person? More importantly: How much are they willing to give back? Is this an equal effort dynamic, or are they totally draining the life out of me? There have been many times that while there is plenty of love there, I’ve found myself trying to outrun the reality that love just isn’t always enough. Relationships need so much more than just love to thrive and function in a healthy, consistent fashion.
If the answer to any of these questions is not aligned with what you want and need out of this relationship, it may be time for a little chat about expectations… if you decide it’s even worth doing that. There is no shame in walking away from a situation that no longer serves your best interests. From my own experience, there is no good reason to wait for one big moment of eruption where all signs point to “run.” It could be as simple as a quiet knowing in the back of your mind that this isn’t what you need right now.
In’s & Out’s of 2025
I turned to some of our fellow Trinity peers to see where they are drawing the line in 2025 when it comes to dating. As expected, the answers were brilliant … they are from Trinity, after all. From lighthearted observations that simply clash with their own beliefs to downright non-negotiable core values, I have come back with a list of what is in and what is absolutely out in the year ahead when it comes to pursuits of the heart.
IN: Yearning and longing! Bring back men who gaze into the rain, reflecting on his love for you as if he is away at war in the 1800s. If he isn’t yearning and longing, I don’t want him.
OUT: Using Snapchat as your main communication platform. This isn’t 2016. It is even more of a criminal offense if the culprit is over the age of 23 doing this. If you’re doing this, I feel it’s safe to assume you’d consider “Netflix & Chill” a date, which is also O-U-T.
IN: Consistency over love bombing! Slow and steady wins the race, so please leave any empty grand gestures in last year. As my mother always says: If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
OUT: If you do not believe in aliens, you are OUT this year. Open your eyes up and see past your own existence. The world is bigger than just what is right in front of you. And if you can’t see that, I’m actually kind of scared of you.
IN: A thirst for knowledge and a lust for life. Something about learning a new skill with your partner is bonding, empowering, and somehow a bit erotic. A passion for life and all it has to teach is always a turn on. In my experience, anyone who puts on the overly nonchalant, “too cool” attitude is fundamentally insecure. And we are indeed leaving problematically insecure dating partners in the past.
OUT: Being rude to service workers. Embarrassing behavior that lacks social grace, and the people who behave this way must be put on time-out from the dating world for having bad manners. Also, I can’t think of a more horrifying, embarrassing scenario than being the plus one trapped at the table with the guy who’s being snippy with the waitress.
Step into this year with your heart open, but mind aware. Trust that you will end up exactly where you are meant to be. And with the right amount of self-reflection, you will be completely ready to show up in your best form when you get there. A sincere thank you to those who shared their in’s and out’s for the year ahead. Let us step into 2025 knowing what we want and not being afraid to go out and get it.
