Rachel Lavin-
‘My brother knows Karl Marx,
He met him eating mushrooms in the People’s Park,
He said what do you think about my manifesto,
I like a manifesto, put it to the test-o’
(Sultan’s of Ping; Where’s my Jumper?)
With stolen election posters the new ultimate apartment accessory and S.U. canvassers relentlessly ringing doorbells, there’s no escaping politics in Halls this week; perfect timing for Dylan Haskins to make an appearance.
Rumors of this mysterious baby-faced politician floating around Halls excited me. What can I say? Blonde hair, blue eyes, a man with power, (as for the opinions, sure I could soon whip that out of him); I had to find this man.
Man, however, may be an overstatement. This 23 year old Classical Civilization and Art History student is taking on a little more than ‘extra-curricular activities’. But hey, some play Ultimate Frisbee, some have group sessions of Yu-gi-oh! (oh science students!), what’s running for a national constituency place in the Dáil representing over 97,000 people?
He's no Brian Cowen...
His election posters contend for pole space all along the 128 bus route, up against the big names of Ruairi Quinn and John F. Gormley, and indeed his young fresh face is striking, causing us to take a second look. But that’s the thing about Haskins, his whole presence, his whole look, his whole aura causes a second glance. No doubt, his presence outside the arts block doors would remain unambiguous, were he smoking roll-ups, wearing infertility-inducing tight skinny jeans and pondering the meaning of life, or even more importantly, why electro-punk is so much better than techno-indie-pop.
But Haskins stands out because he is doing the unexpected–but then again is anything expected of an arts student? He’s taking a stand, acting on his words, stepping over the line, outside the box and out of the Arts Block smoking area.
As sultans of ping once put it, Haskins is putting his manifesto to the test-o!
But of course, being listed in Europe’s ‘Le Cool’, (a list of the supposedly coolest people on Europe’s social scene, no really!) is one thing, but politics is another game entirely. (Well obviously, I doubt Brian Cowen was Mr. Popular at school, probably the fat kid everyone aimed at in dodgeball. Oh premature revenge!)
So Haskins faces his sceptics, namely me. He’s too young, too innocent, too pretentious and frankly setting the bar a bit too high for the rest of us arts students thank you very much! We all think we can save the world, of course, but isn’t it a bit too ambitious to act on it in such an extreme manner? Not only a T.D., but an Independent, without any solid political experience.
With all this in mind, there is no denying Haskins is an enigma of sorts. So when I found out he was doing the rounds in Halls, I couldn’t resist an old assault of political ideals. There’s no denying he wouldn’t put up a good fight. Doing the rounds on Sunday night he was said to be quite convincing, if not forcibly so. He canvassed to one male friend for half an hour as he shivered in an impractically small bath towel, being fresh out of the shower. Heart-broken over my missed chance to seduce him into my apartment and have my way with him, there was still hope.
Monday evening at 8p.m. Haskins was to speak in Halls. What I expected to find from this new-age innovative preacher would have been some kind of bass-thudding, laser lights out-there form of canvassing presentation, overcrowded with Haskins groupies promising to sell their virginity in exchange for their vote. However after much wandering, there was nothing to be found–only a viscous encounter with some racist extremist students in Oldham claiming that my Irish self wasn’t welcome to their ‘International tea-party’. I was perplexed. Where was my techno-gizmo show of the self-celebrating Haskins?
Facing the real-world electorate
Instead I stumble across him and a group of intently nodding fellow residents perched in a circle on bean-bags and couches in the canteen ‘playroom’. Slightly astounded by this humble and genuine gathering, I join and listen. Haskins explains to me, “I’m talking about my life so far, I’m up to eighteen now.” Up to eighteen? I’m half an hour late, what could this guy possibly still be talking about? Playschool, primary, secondary, leaving cert, losing his virginity? What else is there? It turns out there’s a lot. Dylan has an impressive amount of accomplishments. He has led the establishment of a social center, set up his own record label and even had a stint on Two-Tube (that’s the new ‘The Den’ for all you old-schoolers). He shows a steady thirst for action, meticulous efficiency and a wide variety of abilities. There’s no denying the guy can get things done, but are these “projects” enough preparation to sustain the battleground that is the Dáil? Dylan talks about political experience being over-rated, after all, look at the state the country’s in. That’s hard to argue with.
As we talk, it’s clear Haskins brings something new and fresh to the table, with his core concerns being economics, culture and education. His ideas are solid, balanced and logical, and all the while he speaks there’s a determined glint in his eye, he exudes enthusiasm and speaks with a vibrancy I’ve never heard in the voice of a politician before.
But is there substance to it all? We can talk about ideas and youth and freshness until the foreign students go home, but can Haskins do anything solid? With the media patronising him and a lack of trust in his supposed innocence, what change can he really make? Is the campaign just to make a statement, add to the C.V., tick the box of things to do before he dies (or in Haskins case it seems ‘before turning thirty’ is more suitable). I ask him is this just another ‘project’, and his answer disturbs me. “I mean I don’t plan on being a politician for the rest of my life.” Hmmm…
The young pretender
Surely to fix this country’s problems you’d need to be in politics in this country from the age of, well, conception, if not before. I put this to him and here his true ideas come out. “I’m not here to change everything at once, I’m here to initiate it.” He talks about his presence in the Dáil as the beginning of this country’s long needed government reform. And throughout the rest of our conversation he goes on to prove he won’t just act as a symbol. His theories are well thought out, original and unique, and his outlook is firm with a fresh enthusiasm that outdoes his competitors. He is as of yet untainted by the hardships of politics, un-poisoned by its antics.
By the end of our conversation in the canteen I am back in love with him again. Whatever about being a doctor’s wife, I want passion, I want enthusiasm, I want determination. Yes, a politician’s wife is the career for me! For me and the other students in the group, Haskin’s enthusiasm is infectious–as infectious, one might say, as our beloved JCR. He is not all talk, buttoned up collars and slicked back hair. He, for once, is a politician who means what he says. He truly believes it and is yet balanced enough to go about it in the right way.
In a recent issue of the Sunday Independent, journalist Will Hanafin named and shamed the political side-liners of the country, those full of opinions and policies yet too unwilling to put their well-voiced opinions into action. Two TCD professors were picked as examples of these ‘all-talk, no-action’ political commentators. Brian Lacey, finance professor refused to run saying “system of whips and party votes not for me.” Finance lecturer Constantine Fudge refused to run yet offered his ideas as free to anyone who wanted to put them into action. This kind of inaction is frustrating to say the least.
Writing this article after a week of brewing over my decision on Haskins it took one line from a BBC news bulletin to help me decide. Reporting on the ousting of President Mumbaraq in Cairo after weeks of revolt, it was said, “Tonight, Egypt’s youth triumphed over the leader that had ruled for thirty years, finally doing what their elders had been too afraid to.”
This encapsulated what Haskins is. He is change, he is new, and he is to topple our twisted and corrupted framework of government. So why not Haskins?–A representative of our generation, someone who will act regardless of his ever-growing media cynicism and the patronising scoffing by the more experienced T.D.s. There’s no denying that putting this preppy baby-faced blonde in the Dáil could shake things up a bit. He may be young, he may be amateur but there’s no denying ‘the guy’s got balls’.
He’s the breath of fresh air our country needs, an injection of life to our dying economy, an adrenaline rush to our ideas and a Valium to our…you get my point.
If not all else, his amateur ways will provide us with a laugh. Before he leaves after our in-depth discussion, I thank him for his time, appreciating his attention even though Halls residents aren’t even from Dublin South-East, sure we’re all culchies and posh foreigners. To which he with visible shock blurts out ‘Are you not?’ and a reflective look that says “oh sh*t, I’ve just wasted my whole weekend on these!”
I leave him with a promise to change my constituency vote, and of a place in my heart.
