In recent years, there has been a dramatic shift in attitudes surrounding mental health and mental health issues in Ireland. Young people, in particular, are at the forefront of this new national dialogue. Artists and celebrities, such as Bressie and The Rubberbandits, consistently use their profiles to raise awareness for mental health issues and attempt to destigmatize the discussion surrounding it. Furthermore, the Dáil protest I attended back in April against the previous government’s plan to “reallocate” €12 million from the Department of Health’s mental health budget was also largely student led.
The topic is also one close to my own heart. My girlfriend is battling clinical depression, and over the past five years, I have seen the life-changing impact that good quality mental health services can have. The ideal future is one in which everyone can access mental health services that work for them. For this to happen, I believe that at least some portion of the discussion on mental health services should be an open and frank assessment of their pros and cons.
To make a small contribution towards that end, I’m compelled to share my personal experience using counselling services both here in Trinity and elsewhere.
My experience with mental health issues doesn’t involve any formally-diagnosed conditions, but I was wrestling with a concoction of work-related stress, interpersonal problems and other issues that were contributing to a persistent low mood. My day job is research, specifically a PhD in physical chemistry. The hours are long and erratic, and the work isn’t the type that’s easily left in the lab at the end of the day. Life was gradually getting the better of me. Counselling was suggested, and I decided to give it a try. At the time, I thought that it would be highly illogical not to do it.
There were definitely positive aspects, but something about the counselling process didn’t sit well with me, and it was difficult to place exactly what it was
My first impression was positive. The first session consisted of me explaining my situation in as much detail as I could, with the counsellor interjecting only to ask for clarification on a point. I was then offered some guidance on possible ways of dealing with the things that were bothering me. I found it useful to get a different perspective from an unbiased outsider. I booked in for a second appointment the following month as a follow-up.
In the interim, I was asked about how I found the experience. At the time, I simply said that it was very helpful and that I would be going back for more sessions. The truth is that, as time progressed, I wasn’t actually sure how I felt. There were definitely positive aspects, but something about the counselling process didn’t sit well with me, and it was difficult to place exactly what it was.
Having been to multiple sessions with two different counsellors both on and off-campus, I think I now understand what the issue was: I just wasn’t suited to such direct, face-to-face talking, especially about my feelings. This isn’t because I am somehow emotionally stunted, it’s more that it felt like I was adapting myself to the counselling environment rather than flourishing naturally within it.
The closest analogy I can think of is to say that counselling for me was like trying to communicate in a language that I wasn’t fluent in
I found myself unconsciously filtering my thoughts into something that seemed more appropriate for a counsellor to hear, rather than being totally candid, and only realising that I had even done so after the session was over. This was extremely frustrating. It also made me feel that I was wasting their time, taking up a time slot that someone else who needed it more could have used. The closest analogy I can think of is to say that counselling for me was like trying to communicate in a language that I wasn’t fluent in.
I recall all of the times male friends have opened up to me and not one of them involved us sitting down at a table for a deep conversation. We were always doing something together at the time, even something as simple as kicking a football around or walking around together. One moment would be idle chatter, then things would just spontaneously come out: anxieties about academic performance, relationship troubles, family strife, everything.
This more casual approach to dealing with issues is at the core of organisations like the Men’s Sheds. Their motto, “men don’t talk face to face; they talk shoulder to shoulder”, is perhaps too much of an absolute, but it certainly speaks to my experience and the experience of a lot of men I know. Since the inception of the Irish Men’s Shed Association in 2011, the number of Men’s Sheds in Ireland has increased from a handful to almost 350 nationwide.
One of the great benefits of the new dialogue on mental health is the notion that there is no shame in reaching out for help
I don’t think it’s unreasonable to suggest that one-to-one counselling services could learn a thing or two from the Men’s Sheds approach. For instance, why not allow the service user the option of meeting somewhere other than the office, similar to how Student 2 Student (S2S) works? Why not give clients a choice between straightforward talking and talking over some mutual activity, such as walking together or playing a game of pool?
Everyone’s experience with mental health services is unique. If you find the counselling service is perfect for you as it is, then keep at it. If you are going through a tough time now, I would definitely recommend giving it a try. One of the great benefits of the new dialogue on mental health is the notion that there is no shame in reaching out for help. It’s also important to remember that if you have given counselling a fair chance, and you find it isn’t quite for you, that’s nothing to be ashamed of either.
