Trinity is a place that comes with its own unique set of traditions that separates it from other universities. These traditions are ones I have come to view as completely normal – until I casually mention them to a friend who doesn’t attend Trinity.
What follows is usually a look of complete dismay, paired with the oh-so-familiar phrase: “that’s so Trinity.”
But what does it mean for something to be “so Trinity”? Let’s take a closer look.
When I first heard that there were secret societies in Trinity, I envisioned cool, sophisticated clubs reminiscent of something out of The Secret History. My interest grew, along with my desire to become a member. Dreams of chocolate-covered hallucinogens and champagne-filled crystal vases filled my mind.
In actual fact, the reality of Trinity’s secret societies are more akin to necking Buckfast from a shoe and vomiting on people you barely know.
I also soon discovered that, unfortunately, I had to possess both a penis and supreme sporting abilities (two things I definitely do not have) to gain entry to these “elite” societies. Once my crushing disappointment turned to begrudging acceptance of my fate, I looked for comfort from my friends who perhaps were also denied entry into their colleges’ tuxedoed, secret-society parties. I was met instead with confusion and eye rolls.
In actual fact, the reality of Trinity’s secret societies are more akin to necking Buckfast from a shoe and vomiting on people you barely know
Either secret societies are not a thing in other colleges or they’re just better at keeping it a secret.
On the topic of tuxedos – another element of Trinity life which, when you take a step back, borders on insanity – is the mandatory black-tie dress code at the weekly debates held by the University Philosophical Society (the Phil) and, until recently, the College Historical Society (the Hist). Black tie, every single week? Why do I have to wear a sparkly ballgown to debate issues such as lipstick feminism or nuclear warfare? What really is the point?
This tradition seems bizarrely abnormal but appears to be integral to Trinity’s debating community, so people barely notice the swarms of impeccably dressed groups wandering to and from the Graduates Memorial Building. And here comes next week’s debate: This house believes that you must dress up to be taken seriously.
On top of all of this, there is the mind boggling rumour that Trinity has its own secret underground wine cellar. How boring and unoriginal of every other college not to possess one of these! Sadly, I myself haven’t managed to set foot in this dark, wine-filled paradise, allegedly accessed through secret tunnels. Rumour has it that a group of Trinity students in the 1980s happened upon the site and made a habit of stealing the wine until they were caught by college authorities. That kind of secret activity was more what I had in mind when imagining Trinity’s secret society but alas it was well before my time.
On top of all of this, there is the ever-mind boggling rumour that Trinity has its own secret underground wine cellar. How boring and unoriginal of every other college not to possess one of these!
I acquiesce that it would be fair to describe the secret underground wine cellar as “so Trinity”.
Although this may be more specific to the Arts Block, the general sentiment that one’s college years are a weirdly experimental discount Fashion Week at all times is certainly unique to Trinity. I have no problem with this – in fact, I love seeing a feather boa and full glitter face at 9am on a Monday morning.
But the hostility and judgement directed at anyone wearing tracksuit bottoms or – God forbid – a Superdry jacket, simply cannot be ignored. It’s a weird inversion of social norms – instead of trying to conform, Trinity students desperately desire to stand out. To those who see the Arts Block as a runway opportunity, I tip my neon-green beret with hand-stitched flowers to you.
Many a student has felt in their time in Trinity that College bigwigs are less than considerate of their feelings. This is exaggerated to the absolute maximum on one’s last day in this hallowed institution, when students are called up in order of their grades as they graduate. No free guidance counselling session is going to make up for that unnecessarily public announcement of your class ranking in front of your family and peers.
Graduating at all is impressive enough – do we really have to be divided into who graduated best? The answer is no, no we don’t.
Trinity has a number of age-old traditions, some of which are absolutely ridiculous. What’s worse, they are all meticulously respected and adhered to by students, and I can’t imagine them changing anytime soon.
I may find the vast majority of them laughable, but seriously: just don’t walk under the Campanile.
