Random Gazan reflections from a genocide
Almost 2 years since the genocide, I am feeling wasted and disposable as a being, not as an individual.
Maybe if I was being targeted as an individual, that would be a little bit more dignifying.
I am being targeted as a whole, collectively as not as civilians yet as the group of “savages” and “human animals”according to Israeli leaders, within which Hamas grew as a a movement of “pure evil” that’s is hard to comprehend and therefore is easier to eliminate altogether.
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It feels so degrading and deprecating to be erased like that. It compels one to join the resistence since we are really perishing anyways because the realisation of the state of Jews on Palestine isn’t possible without eliminating us the indigenous .
I am expected to understand that as an individual and accept erasure under Israel’s right to self defence and their religious right to the land.
You know what really hurts? Racism that allows genocides is in itself not possible without fear of the other including physical disgust. So I am also being feared and treated with disgust as I am perishing on television.
I’m also expected to understand that as an individual, this war on my existence.
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Fuck the world where we as the humans of Gaza are wasted on your damn eyes just because we happen to be weaker than you are as independent nations.
You will forget our names because we are insects to you, obviously, but you will never avoid allowing our complete erasure.
I’m losing interest in my very existence, in the world where I mean nothing just because I’m not politically important to anyone.
I spent 24 years in Gaza before October 7th. I lived my whole life under Israeli occupation and blockade and fear and at the end you discard me by allowing my genocide. You let me die. You let us all die after years of ignoring our plight. Hope means nothing to me at this point because it didn’t work.
Stay indifferent, detached, or helpless. Cowards
