Ah the Trinity Ball, a special occasion in every Trinity student’s calendar. A night where art students can feel like kings and aristocracy, or where, just once, can the denizens of the Hamilton act like social experts. It’s a night in which all things are communicated through dance and drink. The universal language -albeit not including Iran- of the party. Yes, my first year sense tells me that the Trinity Ball is the Academy Awards of debauchery, and frankly I look forward to losing my innocence, just like a giddy, young schoolgirl ready to lose her (*ahem*) innocence.
When my first year friends and I first stepped into the arts block from the bus on our first day, indeed we were harangued by people conscripting us into various societies as well as a tempest of different timetables whirling around us. And yet amidst all the despair of third level education, there were tales told to us from the fourth Years. Tales of an event that could match the second coming of Jesus in terms of jubilation. And like a bat pissing, it shone out as gold when all around is dark. It could only be the Trinity College Ball. A party to make even the most extreme of debs look like a well-dressed crèche! From what I hear though, the Trinity Ball is not some standard gaff-en-masse for people to arrive in tatty jeans or their trackies tucked into their socks. No No(!) It’s depravity in style. A Black-Tie Event of the utmost highest standard. Girls in elegant dresses and guys in classy tuxes.
TCD ruffians at last year's Ball
For a first year noob to write these sentences and read them in my head, makes me salivate uncontrollably. I mean is it as good as the hype?! Well let’s look at it this way: the mathematical concept of Euler’s Number e, when derived or integrated is pretty much the same. Its value doesn’t really get bigger or smaller, and please (please!) before any budding physicists or mathematicians start trolling in the comments area, I’m saying this for the sake of a metaphor. The number is consistent throughout its processes. And, as such, the result in a way is what’s expected, unlike some run of the mill plebeian equations, I can assume that the same can be said for the Trinity Ball, it is what’s expected.
The things said in the build-up are gospel, and as such anticipation leads to a better night. So in answer to the rhetorical question posed earlier, yes I believe that it is as good as the hype suggests. However, what article of speculation and awe is complete without dropping a few statistics? The Trinity Ball is supposedly Europe’s largest private party, inviting over 7000 different people each year. That’s a lot of hidden naggins, and Trinity acknowledges the shrewdness of its students so it comes as no surprise that there is to be some strict security regarding the trafficking of your own alcohol in. Well I suppose there’s always a catch and it would seem that the Trinity Ball’s catch is the Boardwalk Empire-esque monopoly on libations. I do not condone bringing in alcohol that isn’t allowed and I definitely don’t condone slipping a small naggin into your black dress sock that fits under a flared, pin-striped, trouser leg of any length, before taking it out approximately 47 yards after you lose site of any security. I don’t condone this at all.
Undoubtedly however I would predict trouble of some sort to do with this factor. I cannot speak for all 1st years, but in my eyes, this Ball, this occasion will change lives, create lovers, break limits and potentially embarrass numerous Facebooks the next morning (or afternoon, let’s be realistic). With a dollop of bangin’ choonz (sorry), a dash of classy attire, a sprinkling of drink and a touch of good company, you’ve baked yourself quite a party. Can’t wait.
Gary Wall
