The University Philosophical Society (the Phil) and the College Historical Society (the Hist), to no one’s surprise, have never truly got along. The two societies fight about everything from Graduates Memorial Building (GMB) Chamber reservations to who actually is the oldest student society on campus (and the world?). Someone even called Guinness World Records to verify this latter feud, who promptly handed the Hist the title. For many years, members of each respective society would refer to the other as “the Other Society”, a tradition that has only subsided in the last few years.
Even without the public side of the Hist and Phil’s longstanding rivalry, however, there have been plenty of fast moves that have taken place behind the scenes as the two societies vie for control of the tight confines of the GMB. These have ranged from everything from whispered gossip to theft to pitting honorary patronage guests against one another (more on this soon).
My favourite story from the long rivalry between the two societies comes from the Phil’s interview with Michael Gambon, fresh off the set of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II, and likely still sporting some semblance of his iconic beard. After speaking to a Phil audience, committee members and the famous actor retired to a Phil-owned room adjacent to the GMB chamber, where one could access the balcony to the chamber itself. The Hist, meanwhile, was having a debate in the main chamber. The debate, even with all its shouted speeches and audience participation, could not drown out what had since become a bumping afters with Gambon and the rest of the Phil, complete with booze, music, and revelry of all kinds. After being told multiple times by Hist members to quiet down, the Phil committee hatched a plan, roping in Gambon himself.
During a lull in the debate, likely during a podium exchange, Gambon was sent on the balcony, where he dramatically asked for the room’s attention. Once he had it, Gambon straightened his tie and asked the room, “would you kindly shut the fuck up?!” Needless to say, amidst roaring laughter from the Phil, no one on the Hist council was very happy.
The best thing about this rivalry between the two storied societies is that, despite the privilege and pretentiousness they are often associated with, they are just as willing to bend the rules for the sake of fun as every other society discussed in this column. For example, take the incident of Freshers Week in 2011.
Freshers’ Week is always a particularly sore time for Hist and Phil relations, as both societies do their best to recruit more Freshers than last year and convince new recruits that their society is doubly more interesting, fun and rewarding than the other. 2011 saw tensions escalate even more, however, when the Hist decided that stealing the Phil’s lectern would be a perfect way to assert dominance at the year’s beginning. Proceeding under the cover of darkness, the Hist stole the lectern from the main chamber and hid the lectern in one member’s campus flat.
The Phil quickly discovered the theft the next day and, seeing as this hadn’t been the first time in recent memory that such a theft had occurred, deduced that the Hist were behind the missing lectern. Several committee members went up the stairs to confront the Hist in their first floor committee room. Instead of a room full of Hist members, though, the Phil found an unlocked door, and an empty room. Seizing the opportunity, the Phil descended upon the room en masse, and trashed the entire place, turning over chairs, bookcases, paintings, couches, and even coat hangers. The Hist returned to find their room in absolute shambles, and opted to return the lectern rather than risk further escalation, per our historian friend John Engle.
The Hist has far from had a monopoly on theft in the GMB, however. The Hist’s ballot box, a lectern and voting box used in elections and debates, has been revered by Hist committee members since being gifted to the society in 1903. This fact alone, of course, made it a ripe candidate for theft by enterprising Phil members. Over the years, the Phil has stolen the box, thrown it into the Liffey, and even gift-wrapped it for the purposes of hiding it in plain sight under a Christmas tree. This last incident resulted in Phil members returning the ballot box after they were threatened with Gardaí intervention.
Despite the significant embarrassment the Hist seems to have suffered at the hands of their rival in the way of pranks, they were not without their victories. The two statues of Oliver Goldsmith and Edmund Burke in front of College entrance, for example, were erected in 1864 after a donation collection campaign from its members. Further, Eoin O’Mahony, auditor of the Hist in 1930, was nearly impeached after he raised a toast to Ireland instead of the King of England, but was saved in a last ditch effort by his friends to secure votes. This led to a tradition of toasting Ireland at Hist-hosted dinners for at least another half-century, defying the still-strong stereotype of Trinity being an English-oriented university.
No matter who holds the advantage, however, Hist and Phil members alike are privileged not just for their alleged Protestant wealth or political connections, but because they are able to take part in such a rich, centuries-old tradition by simply being part of their respective societies. As sociocultural landscapes change, whether in Trinity or across the world, we can always count on certain aspects of our history never being forgotten, even if this history in question is a grudge or a long-standing rivalry. There is pride in continuity, and, considering the state of relations between the two societies recently, there is no sign of this ever changing. Life gets hard, but the sun rises and sets, the leaves change, the tides turn, and someone in the GMB devises the next best legendary prank: perhaps one so legendary, that it just as well takes its turn passing into the pages of myth and legend, and becomes a certified Trinity Tall Tale.
