Pressure and control are being treated as ordinary features of student relationships in Ireland, according to a new report by the Feel Seen campaign. The report found that harmful behaviours often enter young relationships disguised as care, concern, affection or insecurity.
The research, carried out by CORE Research anonymously surveyed 330 students across 12 Irish higher education institutions between February and March 2026 and was followed by an online research community with 25 students in April.
The central finding of the study was that despite valuing “emotionally safe as essential in healthy relationships, as well as the ability to say “no” without feeling guilt, pressure or fear, many surveyed found that these were absent from student relationship culture. 55 per cent of students studied said that saying no without pressure or guilt was often missing or difficult to find. Another 42 per cent said the same thing about being respected when they disagreed with their partner and a further 37 per cent found independence difficult to find.
The report argues that a core issue lies in a “translation challenge”, where students generally understand healthy relationships and recognise when something feels wrong, but lack the language or confidence to name it as harmful.
The survey also found that behaviours associated with monitoring and control are often normalised when framed as signs of affection or protection. 71 per cent of students said that expecting an immediate reply from a partner was normal, 64 per cent considered live sharing to be normal and 58 per cent considered checking who a partner follows, likes or interacts with online as normal.
One female student surveyed said “The constant texting/checking in and the isolation. We tell ourselves they are just ‘really into us’ or ‘protective’ because of past trauma. We normalize it as a sign of how much they care, rather than a lack of respect for our autonomy.”
The report also examined how ponography influences sexual expectations. 82 per cent responded to the survey saying that pornography influences ideas of what sex should look like and 62 per cent said it influences expectations around riskier sexual activities.
Lead Project Partner on the HEA National Awareness Campaign on Ending Sexual Violence and Harassment and Sexual Violence Prevention and Response Manager at TU Dublin, Catherine Bolger said, “Recognising the power of students’ voices in driving change and challenging harmful behaviours has shaped this campaign. We are deeply grateful to everyone who has given so generously of their time and insights to our research by sharing their experiences of relationships, personal interactions and the challenges of navigating consent and healthy relationship patterns and behaviours they have experienced and witnessed both in person and in their online worlds.”
