Most people visiting New York City will spend most of their time in Manhattan, and go to Times Square, the Met, Central Park, along with the other usual suspects. Most people I meet in Ireland who have gone to New York will excitedly tell me about their visit, but halfway through, sheepishly say: “Well… we didn’t really go to Brooklyn. But it seems cool.” Doubtless, Brooklyn is cool. But as a tourist, it is not shameful to leave it off the list. After all, Manhattan is the city’s nucleus, and who goes on vacation to live like a local?
In any case, creating a travel guide for Brooklyn is a monstrous task. It is the home of 2.7 million people, spans 250 square kilometres, and has 170 subway stations. I asked my mom, who was also born and raised in Brooklyn, for some advice on making a travel guide, and she said: “No map can tell you this.”
However, if your heart is set on the “real experience” of New York City, and you’re willing to take the subway a couple of extra stops, read on for an imperfect crash course in becoming a certified Brooklynite.
Neighbourhoods
The neighbourhoods of Brooklyn are the best way to explore it, so here are four stunning Brooklyn neighbourhoods to check out (and some honourable mentions):
1. Park Slope
Park Slope is the Rathmines of Brooklyn. Posh, family-oriented, and delightful. Every block is classically Brooklyn. It’s a stones throw from Prospect Park (New York’s best park, see below), and the home of the city’s best slice at Smiling Pizza. If you come in the summer, you may stumble across a “block party”, where the street is closed off from traffic for bouncy castles, hot dogs, and other festivities put on by residents for their neighbours (the biggest is 7th Heaven, falling on the American Father’s Day).
2. Carroll Gardens
I recommend walking down Union Street across the Gowanus Canal from Park Slope to arrive in Carroll Gardens (the D4 of Brooklyn). Smith and Court Street are the suped-up versions of 5th and 7th Avenue in Slope, accommodating more shops and cuter restaurants. I recommend the Chocolate Room for a delicious experience. Carroll Gardens is also the home of Lily Allen and David Harbour’s former brownstone, featured in Architectural Digest. Take that as you will.
3. Red Hook
Red Hook is a historically industrial neighbourhood on a peninsula jutting into Upper New York Bay, boasting unbeatable waterfront views of the Manhattan skyline and the Statue of Liberty. This is coupled with having the best seafood in town. It has also been (slightly) more resilient in the face of gentrification than the latter two neighbourhoods, managing to keep a few real artists within its borders. This is mostly due to the fact that the subway doesn’t go there. Think Dublin’s Liberties neighbourhood.
4. Clinton Hill
Clinton Hill is the best neighbourhood for Brooklyn architecture. Known for its “Mansion Row” on Clinton Avenue with Italianate and Gothic Revival homes next to brownstones and pre-war buildings, Clinton Hill’s building game is unmatched. It is also the home of the Pratt Institute, making it a haven for artists and creatives, complete with a unique sculpture garden. Clinton Hill also hosts Fort Greene Park, which has a unique Sunday farmers market and is known for its distinctive high hills that were once used as a strategic military base in the War of 1812.
5. Honourable Mentions
Greenpoint (take the G-train or Ferry to the pier to see the best view of the Manhattan skyline); Williamsburg (thrift stores, McCarren Park, and hipster coffee shops); and Bushwick (Williamsburg but evil).
Activities
1. Prospect Park
Prospect Park is the crown jewel of Brooklyn. Spanning 213 hectares, it has all the benefits of Central Park with fewer people. You can ice skate or roller blade at the LeFrack Center, catch a free concert during Celebrate Brooklyn at the Bandshell, visit the famous Boathouse, feed the ducks, play some baseball, see horses, take your dog to a dog run, host a giant barbeque, or sit under shady trees (sled in the winter) with your friends at the meadow.
2. Coney Island
When I told my brother I was including Coney Island on this list he said “You’re sending these Irish people to be mob-executed”. Yes, Coney Island has a seedy reputation, but that does not preclude it from being an incredible staycation for many Brooklynites. Luna Park has roller coasters and rides for all ages, and the Cyclone (one of the oldest operating wooden coasters in the US) is a cultural icon. The Coney Island boardwalk and beach constitute an amazing summer day, and despite having slightly more garbage than Brighton (Brooklyn) or Rockaway (Queens), it is subway-friendly and social.
3. Sports
The Brooklyn Cyclones (baseball) and the Brooklyn Nets (basketball), while not as successful as the Yankees or Knicks, both have dedicated fanbases (and cheap tickets!), making the game-going experience low stakes and thrilling.
4. More Amazing Parks
A Brooklyn guide is not a Brooklyn guide without a ridiculous number of parks. I recommend McCarren Park (Williamsburg), Domino Park (Williamsburg), Brooklyn Bridge Park (DUMBO), WNYC Transmitter Park (Greenpoint), and Maria Hernandez Park (Bushwick).
5. Walking Across the Brooklyn Bridge
Iconic.
6. Museums
Some of Brooklyn’s best museums include the New York Transit Museum (Downtown Brooklyn), the Brooklyn Museum (Prospect Heights), BLDG 92 (Brooklyn Navy Yard), Brooklyn Botanic Garden (Prospect Heights), Lefferts Historic House (Prospect Lefferts Gardens), and the Waterfront Museum (Red Hook).
7. Rapid-fire Honourable Mentions
Thrift stores in Downtown Brooklyn (Goodwill, Out of the Closet, Salvation Army, etc.), Greenpoint Pier, an experimental music show in Bushwick, the historic Greenwood Cemetery in Kensington (also a good breakup spot), Nitehawk Cinema, Kings Theatre, the ferry to Governors Island, watching people get their wedding photos taken in DUMBO, and a day-pass at a climbing gym.
If you want to really live like a local
1. Go to Carroll Park, The Turf, Borough Hall, or Venice.
All of these illustrious locations serve a vital social function as the places teenagers go to drink or smoke really bad weed with their 50 closest friends. “Venice” is actually a small collection of benches next to the famously disgusting Gowanus Canal, named after graffiti art opposite the site reading “Welcome to Venice, Jerkoffs” (referring to the luxury housing undergoing development off the canal).
2. Take the SHSAT
The Specialised High School Admissions Test (SHSAT) is a three-hour, 114-question standardised test that acts as the sole criterion for admission to eight of the city’s most prestigious public schools, where about 15 per cent of test-takers are admitted (and as low as 4 per cent for Stuyvesant). While the SHSAT may seem like a “tough but fair” Leaving Cert-esque approach to High School Admissions, other elite non-SHSAT public high schools often require their own tests, interviews, auditions, and essays, as well as grades and resumes, among other requirements. Some public schools have acceptance rates as low as 0.5 per cent. Good luck!
3. Go to the Viral Prospect Park Deli
Prospect Park Deli is known as the home of the Wagyu Chop Cheese and has amassed over 1.2 million followers on TikTok. However, its inclusion on this list is due to the fact that when I was growing up, this was the bodega that would probably sell a beer to a toddler. In fact, when I was 15, my dad marched me in there to yell at the owner for his culpability in my teenage misbehaviour. Terrible.
4. Play the “Do you know…” Game
The “Do you know…” game is as old as time itself. When you find a fellow local, you are obligated to spend at least thirty minutes (to the dismay of your non-Brooklyn friends) going through a list of people you know from each other’s elementary, middle, and high schools, extended friend groups, and random Instagram mutuals to find people in common. Nothing will come of your discovery, and you will never see the other person again, except as a name in another iteration of the “Do you know…” game.
5. Use Slang
Dayroom, sherm, say less, ode, fried, brick, fed, safety, talking practice, deadass, link, cap, bread, etc.
6. Honourable Mentions
Complain about the construction of Whole Foods and shop there, go to a Punk Show and feel bad the whole time, vape, call someone a “transplant” who has lived in Brooklyn for over twenty years, let your local bodega guy call you “boss”, try to explore an abandoned building (do not do this it is very illegal), go to the top of Smith & 9th Street station, and attend a free NYC–DSA event.
